Cozy in Love – Conoon & Suzy

What to Pack for a Natural Hospital Birth

November 5, 2018 No Comments

Is anyone else here an overpacker? On vacation, I like to be ready for all situations. Five extra pairs of underwear? Toss it in. Extra jeans because it might get cold and they have to match my tops? Let’s take them. Heels because we might go out to a bar or my favorite, clubbing? A must!

Well, packing for vacay is pretty different from packing to go give birth. From one, you leave with a nice bronze tan, and from another, you come out with a a wrecked body and a tiny baby human, on top of all the crap you brought with you!

So for my trip to the hospital, I promised myself to leave out all the “extras” and to take only the things I really needed.

I took two bags: a labor bag and a hospital bag. The labor bag was filled with things I needed to help me through labor. The hospital bag was filled with items my husband and I needed for our hospital stay and for the baby to come home.

LABOR BAG

Things to Help with Labor

2-3 Copies of Birth Plan – For the hospital staff to be on the same page and so you don’t have to keep repeating your wants and needs. The plan is crucial for a hospital birth especially because the staff rotate in and out in shifts.
Exercise Ball – a great investment not only for labor but for pregnancy too! There are great labor positions you can try on the ball.
Squatty Potty – Ok you probably won’t find this on any other labor bag list on the internet loool, but I gotta be honest– I took a Squatty Potty and I’m SOOO glad I did. I knew I would spend a lot of time laboring on the toilet (did you know that the toilet is one of the best places to breathe through your contractions?), so I took it in case my feet didn’t reach the floor from the hospital’s toilet (which of course, they didn’t)! It also helped me poo BEFORE I pushed (#TMI).
Heat packs – To soothe lower back pain if you’re in back labor
Rebozo or scarf – For sifting your belly
Shower cap – So you don’t have to deal with wet hair after laboring in the shower. The hospital was COLD so I’m so glad I took one. I should’ve taken more than one because my mom ended up throwing mine away on accident after one or two uses and I was miserable with wet hair after that.
Swim trunks for dad – In case he wants to help you through contractions in the shower. It also may be a good idea to bring a pair of sweatpants or basketball shorts for dad to change into when his swim trunks are wet.
Waterproof sandals for mom and dad – For use in and after showers. I ended up wearing my Havaianas the whole time, not just in the shower. They’re comfy and I leaked blood and body fluids during the transition stage, pushing stage, and after I had my baby. I made the mistake of putting on pink fuzzy house slippers on when I got off the bed right after giving birth and blood dripped all over them. Oops.

Things to make the hospital room more home-y.

I was worried that the hospital vibe would make me uncomfortable during labor (think bright white lights, white walls, monitoring machines, hospital gown), and therefore, slow progress, so I made sure to bring things that made me feel more at home.

Music – Conoon played music from Spotify on his phone.
String lights – To add a home-y glow to the room. I got the round globe lights and they ended up being so cute that they’re now hanging in Eden’s nursery.
Labor gown – I didn’t take this and I wish I had bought one in time for Eden’s delivery. The cons of wearing a hospital gown are 1) Let’s be real. First and foremost, it’s not cute!! 2) It makes you feel like a sick patient, which can mess up your mental game. (Labor is SO mental!) Know that you’re not required to wear a hospital gown– you’re pregnant, not sick! 3) It’s hard to put on and tie on your own. 4) It’s thin and not made of comfortable or soft fabric. I remember feeling SO cold in it after getting out of the shower.

What to Eat and Drink

Because I planned for a natural labor (no epidural or other medication), it was important for me to eat and stay hydrated! Also remember to bring food for your labor partners. There are a lots recommended food and drink options for you during labor but here are the things that I packed:

Recharge – An all-natural sports drink that’s a healthier alternative to Gatorade. Labor is HARD WORK (so it really is like working out or playing a sport), so you definitely need the electrolytes!
Honey Sticks – A sweet, pick-me-up for when you need energy during the Transition Stage. You won’t be able to eat during this stage because the contractions get really intense and more frequent.
Snacks of your choosing. I chose Clif Bars and my husband took Beef Jerky. Your labor partners will probably need more snacks than you, since the only hormones they’ll be running on is adrenaline and they need the fuel.
Bottled Water – We took maybe 6 bottles of water, but ended up running out pretty fast. We regularly asked the nurses for pitchers of water once we ran out. You probably don’t need to pack this unless you’re picky about water quality.

OVERNIGHT STAY BAG

Clothes for mom to go home in
Change of clothes for partner
Baby clothes: one undershirt, pair of socks, receiving blanket, sleeper with legs that allows baby to sit in car seat
Phone and phone charger
Camera
Toothbrush, toothpaste, mouthwash, chapstick
Glasses, contacts, contact solution
Blowdryer
Hair brush and hair ties

MISC.

Car seat and newborn gear for carseat. It’s recommended to install your car seat when you enter your third trimester.

I hope this list helps you figure out YOUR hospital bag essentials. No two moms or two babies are the same, so I hope that I gave you enough ideas of what to pack so that you feel most comfortable and prepared during labor and after your baby arrives.

Labor

What to Eat and Drink During Labor

November 3, 2018 No Comments

Before I was pregnant for the first time, I heard from a lot of people that you’re not allowed to eat anything during labor. They would all talk about their FINAL meal before going to the hospital and advised that I eat something big and hearty like a burger before going in. My first thought was, “Yes, my last meal will be In-n-Out for sure.”

But when I committed to having a natural birth and took birthing classes, I learned that it’s actually really important for mom to eat and drink during labor. You’ll hear me say this time and time again, but labor is HARD WORK! So you, Mama, definitely will need the fuel to keep your energy level high and your hangry level low.

What to Eat

Rather than chowing down on Chipotle or gulfing down animal style fries, you’ll be “grazing” which means you’re eating small every 20 minutes.

Now WHAT you eat is also important. Think healthy and light foods that will sustain your energy and appetite. Avoid spicy, fried and acidic foods. Here are some examples to give you ideas:

Slow burning grain e.g. oatmeal
Eggs and toast
Leftover soup
Sandwich
Pasta salad
Baked or sweet potato
Clif bar, power bar
Date smoothie with almond butter

What to Drink

Staying hydrated makes labor more efficient. It’s recommended that you drink one cup every 30 minutes and that you alternate between water and electrolytes. After 7 centimeters dilated, you will switch to 3 sips between each contraction and repeat. Lots of liquid means that your bladder will fill up quickly, so it’s crucial that you remember to pee at least once every hour. (A full bladder can cause complications later during labor.)

Recharge – a healthy alternative to Gatorade
Coconut Water
Water – you can request pitchers of water, cups and straw from the hospital

Motherhood, Personal

New Every Morning

October 8, 2018 No Comments

It’s Monday and it has been a great day. ☀️

I hopped in the shower in the morning before Conoon left for work. Eden woke up all smiley and well-rested after a full night’s sleep and long morning nap. We played and danced to Pink Fong in the afternoon and because I was able to read her sleepy cues, she went down for her second nap without a fuss. I finally remembered to order contacts online. I ate breakfast, lunch, AND just had an afternoon snack. 😱 A second load of laundry is in the dryer and I’m sipping on yesterday’s latte while writing this post.

All this because I knocked out at 10:30 last night. I’m trying to make sleeping early a regular thing since Eden forces me to be a morning person. Feeling 💯 means I can show up 100% and give Eden the best of my love and attention that day. If sleeping early is the secret to that success then why wouldn’t I want to do that for my baby!

Physical rest is crucial, but it’s also about mindset. I want to get to a place where even if I’m tired, unproductive, or emotional volatile, I can manage to smile and see the day as good. God’s mercy and compassion are new every morning (Lam 3:22-23), so whatever the day throws at me, I want to be able to accept it with grace by leaning on God’s strength.

Self-Help

Speak Kindly To Yourself

October 3, 2018 No Comments

Do you ever feel defeated because of the negative thoughts that run through your mind? Negative, critical self-talk that you allow to seep into your subconscious and make you feel unconfident and inadequate with nothing to offer?

I feel you, mama. Confidence is something I’ve always struggled with. It’s something I STILL struggle with every day. Streams of worries and negatives thoughts run through my head more than ever now that I’m a mom.

Is Eden okay? Am I doing this right? I’m not ready to be a mom. I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m not good at this.

Without affirmation from others, I’m quick to put myself down and beat myself up. I’m quick to let discouragement and doubt take over my motivation, to let my negative self-talk grow louder than my cheering section.

But then I realized, if my own thoughts are all it takes to put me down, then surely my own thoughts have the power to lift me up. I can’t keep relying on other people to make me feel better when I have doubts or when I’m stressed. I am the BEST person and the ONLY person i need to keep myself happy, hopeful, and grateful in my life. I can be my own source of inspiration.

And it goes the same for you, too.

This is where positive self-talk comes in. If you, mama, are ever feeling unconfident about your new role as a mom, know that not only are you capable, you are also the BEST person for the job. You ARE ready to mother your child. You are the BEST person to care for your baby.

But in order to really believe these things, you have to THINK it every day. Or even better, say them outloud to yourself. Write them on post it’s and slap them on your mirror. Make an ongoing reminder on your iPhone so it pops up on your lock screen. Do whatever it takes to be reminded. Get a tattoo if you really need it! Okay, maybe not but if that’s your thing, go for it!

But really, these daily reminders are important. You deserve to affirm and love yourself every single day.

Here are some of my personal mantras that have helped me when I’m feeling down:

“I’m doing the best I can.” For when I feel inadequate as a mom.

“I am enough.” For when I feel like I’m not doing enough or not meeting expectations. For when I’m comparing myself to others.

“Just happy.” For when I’m feeling envious of others. For when my circumstances got me feeling like life is unfair. A reminder for me and my husband when things get tough in marriage.

“Just one more.” For when I’m feeling tired. For when I can’t see the finish line. This was also the mantra my husband and I repeated over and over to help me get through my contractions during labor. It also helped me in my early weeks postpartum when I had to breastfeed Eden every two hours.

“I am strong. I am powerful. I am beautiful.” For every day. And to remember the laughs that the movie “Girl’s Trip” brought into my life.

What are some of the mantras that encourage you in your every day?

Marriage, Money

“It’s Time to Do Budget”

August 31, 2018 No Comments

Since taking Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University course in 2017, Conoon and I have been budgeting and have budgeting meetings at the end of every month. The meetings kind of go like this:

Conoon: It’s time to do budget.

Suzy: NooooooOOOoooOOOoooo

Conoon: Okay, so this month we spent blah blah blah, next month we blah blah blah blah….

Suzy: OoOOOoooookay are we done yet?

Every. Single. Time. Conoon is CLEARLY the nerd in our relationship and I am the FREE SPIRIT, which means he has 15 minutes to get me through these budget meetings and if they go longer than that, I totally zone out and my body language does. not. lie.

But get this. To my HORROR, starting July, Conoon put me in charge of our budgeting meetings. Like I have to call the meeting and lead it!!!! UGhhhh. Okay, I was good at math in high school, but omg anything related to finances (except for me spending) is snoooooze-ville for me. But because I love being a good wife, I agreed.

And because I am a good wife, I need a good husband, which means he is to refer to me as “Budget Lord” when our budget meetings are in session.

This post has been brought to you by insomnia the night before our next scheduled budget meeting.

Goodnight.

Breastfeeding, Motherhood

My Relationship with Breastfeeding

August 31, 2018 No Comments

I’m really starting to treasure breastfeeding, but it took a while for me to get into this headspace. To give you some context, Eden (4 mo) drinks breastmilk exclusively and likes the boob only, so my daily schedule revolves around the times she eats without having the flexibility of using a bottle.

In the first 3 months especially, I felt imprisoned by the task–I was on standby for my baby 24/7, stuck in a chair for a total of 7-8 hours a day, feeling like I was missing out on everything going on beyond my living room window. It was a really hard transition for me. My body wasn’t mine anymore. I felt like I had lost my freedom. I was in a constant state of giving giving giving and crying seemed to be the only thing that refilled my cup.

Nowadays, I’m in a better place; the postpartum fog, once dense with discontent and worry, is finally letting in some light 🌤 Now as I nurse, I hug Eden into my chest and sense a bond that didn’t exist in the first and second months. There are moments when Eden will pause, stop drinking, turn her head to look up into my eyes.. and knock me out with a big grin, as if to say “mmm 맛있다” (mmm yummy) and then go right back to drinking 😂 I like to imagine that she’s thanking me for being there for her, even though it can be hard on me. I savor the quiet, peaceful moments of nursing and when it get hard again, I thank @aliwong for putting things into comical perspective (though Eden going Leo vs bear on my nipples is not funny at all). Her little arm shading her closed eyes. Her hands grasping back and forth at my shirt. Her satisfied smile after she’s been replenished. These images are wonderfully etched into my memory. These moments are sacred to me.

Well… you know you’re a mom when you can talk about your boobs on social media and not care. This month is all about #normalizingbreastfeeding so I figured this was the breast way to start. Happy breastfeeding awareness week/month!

Events, Motherhood

Eden’s 100th Day Celebration

July 1, 2018 No Comments

Eden turned 100 days old this weekend! We decided to host Eden’s 100th day celebration (baek-il) at home with family and close friends.

Baby’s 100 day mark is a big milestone in Korean culture: back in the day in Korea, many babies didn’t make it past 100 days due to harsh living conditions and widespread disease. A baby turning 100 days old was a huge feat, and with it came feelings of hope, success, and relief.

Nowadays, the 100-day party has become an excuse to create photo-worthy backdrops, style flat lays of rice cakes and sugary goods, and take a zillion pictures to have a lot of options to later post on Instagram. I have to admit, when it comes to occasions like this, it’s easy for me to get sucked into endless scrolls on Pinterest in search of “100 day birthday ideas” or “baby birthday decor.” I get caught up in a desire to impress others or do things a certain way just because others are doing it.

Conoon and I aren’t the type to host wedding-level parties for baby occasions, but I do like to host humble get-togethers (that are still picture-worthy) with loved ones when we hit little or big milestones. I’m always down for an excuse to host parties (especially if they’re themed) and eat good food.

So how do I do this without going overboard and staying within budget? I remember to take a step back and focus on the significance of the occasion. I differentiate between the things I want versus what I need and make compromises. I ask family and friends for help when I need it, and keep things simple but still picture-ready.

To think that I have survived being a mom for 100 days is crazy! Okay, maybe not crazy, but a little bit jarring. I think about all the things I’ve done as a mom in every single one of those hundred days and I am in awe. I can definitely attest to what parents mean when they say that the days feel long but years feel short. Though we haven’t made it to a year yet, I can say that these last three months really do feel like they flew by.

At 100 days, I still haven’t got the hang of being a mom. I say “still” as if there’s some mom handbook out there that says I should be meeting a certain standard of readiness or accomplishment by a certain time. But I know that doesn’t exist. I know I’m being hard on myself, and that the language I use affects my thoughts and therefore my actions. There are days I feel super victorious and accomplished and proactive… and then there are days I want to throw my face into a pillow and cry. Maybe having all these feelings are a part of momhood, and that a lack of a bad day doesn’t mean that I’ve got it all down as a mom. Maybe feeling productive and crossing off all my to-do’s in a day doesn’t necessarily make me a good mom either.

What makes a “good” mom? No answer is alike, just like how there’s no mom or child that are exactly alike. All moms are on their own unique paths to figuring out how to be the best mom for their LOs, and as long as you’re doing the best you can, you can definitely call yourself “good”.

Motherhood, Postpartum

One Month Postpartum

April 22, 2018 No Comments

Baby Eden is already one month old and looking back on the weeks that have passed, I honestly just can’t believe I’ve been breastfeeding her every 2-3 hours for this long already lol. You think times flies on the regular? Try being at home all day and taking care of a baby 24/7 while being sleep-deprived. It’s no joke! I hardly know what day it is anymore! lol

I haven’t been updating the blog much. Finding time to take pictures with my DSLR, upload to my laptop, edit on Lightroom, and write a post has been EXTREMELY hard because I’m exclusively breastfeeding.

My husband and I joke that breastfeeding is like my “9 to 5” job spread across all 24 hours. We laugh about it but it’s not even a joke– it’s totally true lol. The feed-burp-change diaper-feed-burp-sleep process takes nearly one hour, which means, that 8 hours of my day are earmarked for exclusive “Eden time” if she’s eating every 3 hours.

The golden rule/advice that I get from moms is to “Sleep when the baby sleeps.” And yes, I try to nap when she’s napping too, but honestly, when she’s asleep, I’m trying to do everything I can to feel like a functional HUMAN, like eat, pee, poo, and take care of my personal hygiene!

Sigh. There’s just not enough time or help in a day.

Anyway. It’s been a foggy month, but I’m so proud of my girl Eden for eating well, sleeping well, and growing so beautifully. Everything I’m experiencing is part of the journey of being a new mom so I wouldn’t want to take away or add anything from my current experience and situation. The current circumstances of my life are what they are. Acceptance of them will lead to surrender and ultimately, a more beautiful, fuller experience of motherhood.

Motherhood, Pregnancy

To My Labor Partners

March 29, 2018 No Comments

This post is dedicated to my two incredible labor partners: my husband and my mom. I decided to have a natural birth and to deliver Eden unmedicated after learning about the effects that induction and pain meds have on both mom and baby during labor and thereafter. It was a personal choice that I had the privilege to make, having been blessed with a complication-free pregnancy and healthy baby. So Conoon and I carefully devised our birth plan and I prepared to surrender both body and mind to the natural birth process.

Night and day of, Conoon coached me through nearly every single contraction. We were in labor for 24 hrs, from Tuesday 1:00am to Wednesday 1:15am. At the time, we didn’t have a definite end time to work toward. The only finish line we could see was after each declining contraction; as one passed, it became time to focus on the next. “Just one more.” Without Conoon’s encouragement, help with breathing through waves of pain, and literally his body to hang onto, I probably would have asked for an epidural or pitocin eventually. But the mantras he spoke kept me focused; his confidence and spirit gave me strength, and we welcomed Eden home by our original plan.

With ultimate patience and true “mom intuition”, my mom provided me and Conoon relief and comfort in areas that we had control over. She abided with my requests (or at times, demands) for water, counter-pressure for back pain, and fanning when it got too hot. She cushioned my knees with a pillow when I labored in positions that had me kneeling on the hard ground. She brought me new towels and dried my hair after each hot shower. She made sure Conoon stayed hydrated and ate to sustain his energy. What was feeding her in those 24 hrs, I have no idea. But her presence and humble help allowed Conoon and me the additional room and focus to do the purposeful work we needed to do.

Definitely a team effort. Definitely #teamcozykim in play here. To Conoon and Ma: from the deepest part of my heart, thank you. Thank you for the gift of a work-heavy, unmedicated, beautiful labor. Thank you for trusting and believing in me. And most of all, thank you for the gift of the healthiest, happiest, strongest Eden possible 🌹💪

Motherhood, Postpartum

Welcome to Life, Eden

March 26, 2018 No Comments

Eden Rose Kim was born on March 21, 2018 at 1:15am after 24 long hours of labor. She weighed 6 pounds and 11 ounces and was 18 inches long.

I’ll never forget the moment I first took her into my arms and brought her in for a hug against my chest. That particular moment happened in a flurry: her head had nearly made its whole way out, and then finally, once her head squeeeezed through, the rest of her body literally SLIPPED out and seconds later, my husband was handing her slippery little body over to me!

Here she is, after an hour of skin-to-skin time, all swaddled up and ready to sleep:

And at Day 2 of LIFE!:

Conoon and I are working on writing her birth story, though honestly, it’s taking us a while… More updates on Eden and mommyhood coming soon =)

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